Deadpool: Children's Crusade
by xbrandoDC3
Summary: The Young Avengers come back to HQ from a movie night, only to find a certain merc with a mouth waiting for them...  NOTE- Does not tie-in with the current Marvel storyline, "Avengers Children's Crusade"


Deadpool: Children's Crusade

"Ok. It's official. This is the last time I am _ever _seeing a vampire movie with you guys." Kate looked at Tommy with a death stare. "You're just jealous because you're not as hot as Jacob is." The white-haired speedster suddenly became jealous and ran over to the cut-out of Taylor Lautner in the theater entrance area. "Seriously Kate? I have just a good a six-pack as him!" Tommy lifted up his shirt and showed everyone his less-defined abs, trying to prove Kate wrong. "See!" Eli, Billy, Teddy, Kate and Cassie all looked at Tommy's muscles. Kate and Eli gave a pathetic laugh, Billy and Teddy rolled their eyes, and Cassie just smiled. Maybe it was just because they spend so much time together on the team, but Cassie thought her and Tommy could be something. Kate started up again. "Yeah right Tommy! C'mon guys, let's go back to HQ…" Tommy was actually surprised. Kate was right, but at least he got to show off a little for Cassie. Neither of them knew it, but they both had feelings for each other. The gang walked down the block until they could find an alley where Billy could teleport them back to Young Avengers HQ. "Let's hope you don't mess up this time…" Eli said. Billy shook off the insult and gave Eli a dirty look. Then the whole group was engulfed in Billy's trademark blue aura, and they teleported back to base.

The young heroes were soon back in the living room of their headquarters, but something wasn't right; everyone knew that someone had been there, and they couldn't find Vision. Soon enough, Teddy found him on the ground, seemingly paralyzed, although he could talk. "Jonas! What happened here?" The shape-shifter said. "Well Teddy, maybe you should just turn around…" Teddy and his teammates turned around to face the kitchen, and in the doorway stood, pizza in hand, Deadpool, the Merc with a Mouth. Teddy hollered at the mercenary-turned-anti-hero. "DEADPOOL? What the hell are you doing here?" Deadpool didn't respond, he just stood in the doorway wearing his "casual wear"; He had the bottom half of his mask rolled up, stuffing his mouth with pizza. He was wearing a bathrobe, still with his swords on his back, and on his feet he had sheep slippers. Cassie and Kate giggled about his slippers and Tommy wondered why he was in a robe. Deadpool was slightly startled by their sudden arrival, and after spitting out his pizza, he responded to the dumbfounded Young Avengers "Oh! Hey guys! You know this pizza is good, but a _little_ bit too much sauce. And maybe you should get some peppers on it next time-" He was cut off by an outraged Billy. "Deadpool! I don't care about the pizza! What did you do to Vision?"

Deadpool put the pizza box down and took off one of his gloves. "EMP generator on my hand. It's always fun to use on Iron Man! Ooh and robots! And soda machines!" Everyone looked down at Vision, who was in an uncomfortable looking position. "I had to use it on him because he tried to convince me that I was 'trespassing' and 'not permitted' in your headquarters. Showed him didn't I?" Cassie looked at her paralyzed friend on the ground, "You can't just zap our friend! And why are you even in here?" Deadpool sat down on the sofa and picked up a teacup from the table. "Calm down girly, he'll be fine in like 20 minutes. And no, if I was going to steal pizza, I would have gone to Dominos and stopped a delivery guy. Duh." Kate looked at Eli and then ran up to Deadpool trying to slap the cup from his hand, but the mercenary made quick work of her and caught her arm. He looked at Kate and said "I wouldn't try that again. You don't want to end up like Crusader Kid." Tommy looked at Deadpool and reluctantly asked, "Who's Crusader Kid?" The merc simply responded with, "Exactly." All of the young heroes stepped back a little from him, and he let go of Kate. "But anyway kiddos, I came here because I know one of you, uh little Hulk-Boy's boyfriend over there, is a bit of a sorcerer, and I need someone to help me on a quest." Teddy and Billy exchanged glances and the young sorcerer soon replied, "Uh, what kind of 'quest' do you mean exactly?"

Deadpool took a nip from his bag and poured the whole bottle in his tea. "Ahhh. That's the stuff. But anyway, ya' see kids, I want to go on an adventure- A dimension-hopping kind of adventure- and I need someone that can open portals, like little emo-hair over here; What do you say? Will you help uncle Deadpool?" All the Young Avengers looked at each other and they moved across the room to discuss the idea. Eli simply stated, "Well, this guy is psycho." Tommy rudely replied, "No crap Eli, that's why we _should_ help him." Everyone else in the group agreed that it was better to help Deadpool than to contest with him. Billy said to the mercenary "Well, I'm pretty sure I can do that, but what's in it for us?" Deadpool thought for a minute. "Well, when we get there, I think I can get you a teacher little witch boy. Then you'll be able to control your powers and not go all crazy. Plus I know this awesome pizza place in Gotham City, and I got coupons! So what do you say kiddos?" Kate looked confused and asked, "Gotham City? Where's that?" Deadpool replied, "It's in the universe I wanna go to, duh." Billy asked the mercenary "Well what's this place called? I need a name for my spell to work." Deadpool remembered the name in his head.

"This universe is called… New Earth."


End file.
